We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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