We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
