Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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