i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
