This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
birth control should be required to get into college
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
