what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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