i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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