once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
