I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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