The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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