Im at strip club and am horny
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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