Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
