Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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