soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize