We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She said her name was "party"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
