whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
