with your own penis?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
