some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
