found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
