im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
