the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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