I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
