Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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