wat bout pragnant strippers??
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize