I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
