Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
