I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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