I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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