We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm bleeding and have questions
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
