She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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