Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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