She's JV to your varsity
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
