Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
