At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
