i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
