we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
