right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
