so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
