I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
