We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my shit smells like andre
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize