Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize