i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
