so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
