PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize