after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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