If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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