Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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