He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
