its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he wants to bone in the snuggie
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
