It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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