I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
