What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
