Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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