Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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