Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
