she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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