She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
