I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
