Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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