I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
