I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
