You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
