I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
