Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize