she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Ladies don't puke and tell
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