as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
