As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
