I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
