You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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